Opinion: The moral advancement of men and the happiness of women are inextricably linked. The way the church is set up reflects this

 Opinion: The moral advancement of men and the happiness of women are inextricably linked. The way the church is set up reflects this

Men's involvement and service in the church is not meant to hinder women; rather, it is meant to train men to be more sensitive to the needs of women and children and to practice putting others before themselves.

Elder Alvin F. "Trip" Meredith III, which also serves as a General Authority Seventy with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, was installed as Brigham Young University-Idaho's 18th president last week. 

Meredith captained his high school football and wrestling teams, but now he and his wife Jennifer are more recognized for delivering heart-warming gestures to the throngs of students who attend BYU-I's weekly campus devotionals.

After the inauguration ceremony, Jennifer Meredith mentioned how her husband was actively involved at home, jumping in to help with diaper changes, laundry folds, and dishwashing. On their phones, they communicate a task list.

Highly religious males are found to perform more housework, according to research from the Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies. I don't think this is because religion makes doing the dishes more fun. Instead, men who absorb lessons of love and service—even guys who formerly participated in football and wrestling—learn to improve and enrich the lives of their wives and others around them.

In my article from the previous year, I discussed how my own experience contradicted media claims that my religion oppresses women. My needs and interests, both as a human being and as a woman, started to be satisfied in ways I didn't realize I needed until I joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

My experience reveals another aspect of the state of women and faith that has been left out of the conversation: men's involvement and service in the church is not meant to hinder women; rather, it is meant to train men to be more sensitive to the needs of women and children and to practice putting others' needs before their own. 

At the age of 11, my husband's father passed away from cancer. Soon after, he was taken by one of his church's elders to visit and assist other families in the congregation. One of the families sometimes took their seriously handicapped kid out to eat.

"By teaching me how to care for others, that leader demonstrated his love for me. My spouse remembers, "I'm sure it wasn't easy, but it had a significant influence on me.  

Men of all ages may learn how to care for others via participating in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' priesthood, where lay people serve in a variety of distinctive roles. According to one leader, the goal is to improve excellent guys while making bad ones better. This matters to me since I'm a wife and a mother of four boys.  

However, there is no lack of media works and commentary bemoaning the roles that males play in conventional religion. Women sometimes have the perception that they are treated as second-class members of the congregation because they do not hold certain positions, and as a result, lack the authority to represent the concerns of women and engage on a level playing field with males. It seems that males are often assumed to be the main beneficiaries of certain leadership positions that are reserved for men.

This ignores the knowledge gained from the experiences of many women and children, who, like me, have come to realize that men's moral and emotional growth cannot be divorced from the happiness and security of women and children. These traits are intended to be developed in men who serve in the priesthood in the Latter-day Saint tradition. This occurs in ways that practically never get significant media attention.

Of course, there are exceptions, and far too many women and children have been harmed by men who either disregarded their duties or, worse still, exploited them as a cover for their treachery. However, having grown up outside of the church, I can attest that the bulk of damage done to women and children takes place in areas where institutional influence, particularly upon males, is lowest. 

Over 80% of single parents in America are women, and nearly one in four households with children are headed by a lone parent. With women and children making up 70% of the impoverished in our country, the poverty rate for these families is roughly five times greater than the rate for married couple households. These women and children are also more likely to use drugs, be subjected to domestic violence, commit violent crimes, or commit suicide. They have substantially poorer economic mobility and have far higher rates of imprisonment, mental illness, and intergenerational poverty. 

The chances are against these families in almost every area of wealth and security.

In contrast, Utah, a state with a high level of religiosity, has the lowest percentage of child poverty in the US and the second-lowest rate for women. Additionally, poor children are more economically mobile. When it comes to well-being, which takes into account factors like health, social connection, and work satisfaction, Utah routinely rates among the top 10 states. For Utah's women and children, stable households provide social capital.  

I disagree with the notion that women are overly burdened by religious focus on marriage and family. The obligations of marriage and parenthood have provided me stability, a sense of purpose, and given my other endeavors more depth. 

There is no disputing the facts; married moms are the group with the largest proportion of respondents who describe themselves as "very happy," according to the most prestigious poll of American social views. In other words, traditional narratives that suggest marriage and family life are unavoidable obstacles to a woman's ability to achieve her full potential are not just stale; they are often inaccurate. 

The difference between women's predicted birthrates (1.8) and desired birthrates (2.7) is at its greatest level in 40 years. Therefore, it is no minor thing for the church—or any institution—to take the genuine and unadulterated needs of regular women so seriously. The development of boys and men into decent dads and spouses who stay around, accept responsibility, and help others is a significant component of that.

It is simple to see the church's influence on males as a kind of discrimination for those who have already benefited from it (perhaps without even realizing it). What if, however, male-specific priesthood obligations in the church were organized in such a way as to produce men who are humble, responsible, unselfish, and dedicated, rather than exalting and elevating males above Latter-day Saint women? And what if that's what regular women and kids do not always find in their homes throughout the world?

Men and women do not have different developmental requirements, according to the notion that they may both fulfill their highest levels of spiritual and emotional potential via the same roles and duties. I disagree with this presumption since I am a woman. This, in my opinion, is also something of a luxury notion that can only be held rationally by those who have not experienced the unique dangers that males may provide when they go beyond the ever-expanding boundaries of family and religion.

Think about the fact that males are responsible for almost all assaults and 80% of violent crimes. In addition, attendance at religious services, which is a measure of religiosity, dramatically lowers the incidence of domestic partner violence, particularly in the most vulnerable groups, despite the preconceptions that are commonly associated with religious males. According to a 2007 research that was published in the social science journal Aggression Against Women, "Men who attend prayer services several times a week are 72% less probable to abuse their female partners than men having comparable backgrounds who do not attend services." In a related research, it was shown that religiosity reduces intimate partner violence even after accounting for religion's influence on other, unrelated variables including drug addiction and social support.

Additionally, participation in religion not only lessens damage but also improves relationships. According to studies, very religious couples—defined as those who pray, read the Bible together, and attend church together—tend to have better relationship results, including increased closeness. According to one survey, women in partnerships with strong religious values "were twice as likely as their secular peers to say they were satisfied with their relationship."

Institutional failings to safeguard women and children are receiving more attention, which may be a good thing. However, media coverage of these occurrences is probably doing more damage than good if the lesson learned is that the position of women or children is worse inside prosocial religion than it is outside of it. Such dramatic and incorrect tales might end up putting women and children at substantially greater danger than they do now if they are uncritically embraced.

Meagan Kohler is a writer who converted to Mormonism and attended BYU to study philosophy, French, and Latin. Along with her husband and four boys, she resides in Utah. She updates X with @TresClare.